


Before We Go

by TragicLove



Series: Before We Go [1]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22592851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TragicLove/pseuds/TragicLove
Summary: Zac Hanson has never seen this girl in his life, she's a stranger to him, so why can't he stop himself from helping her?Based on the movieBefore We Go
Relationships: Zac Hanson/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Before We Go [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631746
Comments: 9
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. I recently re-watched the Chris Evans movie **Before We Go**. If you haven't seen it, you don't really need to to read this, but I suggest you do because it's a wonderful little sort of love story. Anyway, I watched it again the other night and decided that I _needed_ a fic based off of this movie, so I did what I do and I avoided working on the things I was supposed to be working on and instead, in less than 48 full hours, churned this little thing out. Some lines of dialogue have been ripped straight from the movie, but only the ones that punched my heart the hardest. This is shamefully (and shamelessly) unedited and complete. Enjoy!

**Zac**

“You coming man?” I drop my head into my hands and shake my head. I know he can’t see me, but I’m sure he can feel my energy through the phone. He knows what I’m going to say, what my answer is going to be, but he’s asking anyway, and despite the fact that I don’t want to, I have to actually verbally give him a response. 

“Ike, I-”

“Zac it’s our brothers wedding day,” he sighs into the phone. “You have to come.”

“She there?” I ask quietly. I don’t have to say who, he knows.

“She’s here,” he responds. “She’s not alone, she’s with some guy. But you can’t let that keep you-”

“I’m still at Grand Central, I don’t know if I’ll make it.”

“You’ll make it. At least come to the reception. For Tay. I have to go.”

He hangs up and I sigh. I push my hair out of my face and look up just in time to see an object flying in my direction, being dropped by a girl running by. She seems like she’s in a rush and it takes me a few seconds to take my eyes off of her retreating form and when I do I realize she’s dropped her cellphone. The back has separated from the front and I reach for it, pushing myself into a standing position at the same time. I fit the phone back together and pick up my bag and my guitar case, wherever she’s in a rush to go, I’m sure she’ll need this.

I follow in the direction she ran off in, walking faster than my body wants me to. I’m exhausted. From working, from busking for money, from feeling. From life. I round the corner and take the steps two at a time, watching my feet as I go. I reach the bottom just in time to feel a solid mass run into me and when I look up, there she is.

My hands are on her arms, holding her steady and her eyebrows are drawn together, she’s shaking her head and looking up at me and then she draws back, brushing her mussed up hair out of her face.

“I thought you might need this,” I hold her phone out to her. “I think it’s broken.”

“Oh,” she takes the phone and looks down at it, turns it over in her hands and then looks back up at me. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” I nod. “Are you okay, do you need-”

A train station worker comes down the stairs and walks by and she turns quickly from me, following him, calling after him. He stops and looks at her and she’s holding her ticket out for him to see.

“I missed my train and I really need to get home, can you tell me when-”

“Ma’am, the station is closing down for the night. That was the last train out,” he replies and goes to turn away.

“The last?” She’s shaking her head, waving her ticket at him. “But, I have to get home, I- can I use this ticket at a different station?”

“I’m sorry ma’am, Penn Station is closing down too. Looks like you’re stuck here for the night.”

“Where am I supposed to go?” She sighs and looks down at her feet. She’s defeated and I can tell.

“I’m sorry,” he says again and turns, continuing in the direction he was going before she stopped him.

My phone goes off and I dig in my pocket for it. I pull it out and turn the screen on. A text from Isaac, the address to the reception. I close my eyes for a second, just a second and when I open them, she’s gone.

I don’t know why I’m disappointed. Maybe disappointed isn’t the right word. I feel a need to help this woman, even though I don’t even know how to help myself at this point.

I let out a breath and shove my phone in my pocket. I turn around and walk slowly up the stairs. The station is closing so my choices are limited. I can sit on the sidewalk outside until morning comes or I can go the reception, and it disgusts me that neither of these things sound any more pleasant than a colonoscopy. 

I walk through the station and out the doors and something makes me look to the left even though I need to go to the right, and there she is. She’s leaning up against the wall of the station, her head tilted back against it, her lips moving but no sound coming out.

“You always talk to yourself?” I ask, walking up to her. Her her snaps over and she shakes her head at me.

“You always stalk random women?”

“Stalk-” I lift my eyebrow and shake my head. “The station was closing, you heard him. I had to leave the building just like you.”

“Do you know any bars downtown that start with an N?”

“Bars downtown that start with an N?” I repeat and laugh. “Off the top of my head? No. But, I’m sure there are only sixty of them, if I think about it. Why?”

“I lost my purse,” she brings a hand up to her face and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I was at this bar and I got up and went to the bathroom and when I got back…” she lets out a sigh and tilts her head back against the building again.

“It sounds like your purse was stolen, not that you lost it.”

“Same thing,” she groans.

“Not really,” I say and kick at a rock on the sidewalk. I don’t know why I care, I don’t even know this person. But I do. “Let me do-”

“Look,” her voice is suddenly sharp and she pushes herself lightly off the wall and stands up. “I don’t need you feeling bad for me, I just need to get home.”

“Hey,” I laugh a little. “I wasn’t gonna feel bad for you, I _was_ going to offer to share a cab,” I pull my wallet out and open it up. “Come on, I got about eighty bucks, give or take. How far are you going?”

She looks over and me and makes a face I can’t decipher, but it looks a bit like disdain. “Boston, give or take.”

“Boston,” I snort. “So, north of Harlem.”

“I don’t think eighty bucks will help,” she deadpans and I shake my head.

“Probably not.”

We stand there, her looking at me and me looking back at her. I close my wallet and shove it back into my pocket just as a cab pulls up to the curb. “Wait,” I say and walk over to it, tapping on the roof and leaning down towards the window. “Hey, bud,” I say to the man in the drivers seat. “The lady lost her purse and missed her train. She really needs to get home to Boston and her phone is broken. I have a credit card, how much for you to take her?”

“To Boston?” He replies sharply. “That would take me all night, there and back, I can’t take her to Boston.”

“Come on, man. She really needs to get out of here. I’ll pay whatever you want.”

Why am I doing this? I have no idea.

“I’ll need at least a grand,” he says, shaking his head. “Probably more.”

“Here,” I pull my wallet back out and pull out my credit card and hand it back to him. She moves to stand next to me, an incredulous look on her face.

“Why are you doing this?” She asks quietly and I look over at her. I can’t answer her because I don’t know. I just smile and she shakes her head subtly and I can tell she’s trying to read me, figure me out. 

“It was declined,” the cabbies voice breaks my attention on her and I lean further towards the window.

“Declined? Alright, I have another one, hold on.” I take my card back from him and pull the other one out. He takes it and runs it and then shakes his head, holding it out to me. 

“Declined. Probably because it’s _expired_.”

He says the last word like it’s a swear and goes to roll up the window, but I put my hand on it, stopping him.

“Come on, can’t you just help her out, or direct us to someone who can?”

“Look, buddy. No one is going to take your little girlfriend all the way to Boston. New York cab drivers can’t even operate in Mass. You guys will have to figure it out.”

“Fine,” I groan and step away from the cab, wincing when he peels away from the curb. “It’s alright, I’ll call someone. I have friends here,” I look at her. “Someone will help us.”

I pull my phone out and press the button to turn it on, but nothing happens. I press it again and again, each time a little harder and then I let out a dry laugh. “Well, this is embarrassing,” I say and then look over at her. “It’s dead.”

“Jesus,” she breathes, looking at me, her eyebrows drawn together. “Is everything you own broken?”

“Oh,” I lift an eyebrow and shove my phone back in my pocket. “I’m sorry, am I holding up the line of random guys here who are trying to help you?” I look around exaggeratedly and then look back at her. “Right. Just me here.”

“I didn’t _ask_ for your help,” she says evenly. We look at each other for a couple of seconds and then I roll my eyes, pushing my hair out of my face.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I say. “You didn’t.”

“Good, we’re on the same page. Have a good night…whatever your name is.”

And she turns on her heel and walks away.

**Hannah**

Stupid. This entire day has been stupid, culminating in the stupidest god damn series of events I’ve ever had happen to me. I mean, if you don’t count the reason I ended up here in the first place.

I don’t even really know where I am or how to get where I’m going, or where I’m _not_ going, and I can’t even use the GPS on my phone, because that’s broken, but I’ll be damned if I turn back around and ask…whoever he is for directions. I don’t even know if he’d know, or if he’s from here. He was in Grand Central Station just like me. Maybe he was coming or going, maybe he’s visiting, I have no idea. All I know is that all of his help just seemed to further frustrate me and set me back and while I should feel bad for the way I spoke to him, I can’t bring myself to. I have enough to worry about without adding random strangers outside of New York train stations to my list.

I round the corner and start heading down the street and I’m sure I can find some place that’s open that can lead me in the right direction to find my way out of here. I have no idea how I’ll get anywhere when all I have is a stupid, useless twenty dollar train ticket and a broken phone, but I’ll figure it out. I’ve figured worse things out. 

I hear them before I see them and when I look up it’s worse than I expected. A group of four clearly drunk guys making their way up the street towards me. They’re kicking over garbage cans and making a ruckus and I can feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Women have that thing, the thing we never really asked for or wanted but were given anyway. The ability to be able to tell when we’re in danger for no other reason but existing, and I feel that right now. 

Chills form the moment it happens, one of the guys looks up and spots me and he points me out to his friends and I know they’re going to mess with me. In what way, I have no idea, and I don’t really want to find out. I figure the best course of action is to keep walking and so I do, hesitantly, slowly. They’re in the middle of the street and I’m on the sidewalk and I’m just hoping that it stays that way, but they’re veering towards me and I’m taking inventory of all of the things I don’t have on me to protect myself with.

“Hey babe,” I hear his voice and then his arm is slung around my shoulder. “Sorry it took so long, the line for the bathroom was pretty long.”

I look over and up and there he is again, this man who has seemingly appointed himself my guardian angel for the night. I look back over at the other men and they notice him and then veer back away from me, moving around us and kicking another trash can over on their way by.

“Never let them see that you’re scared,” he says, his arm still draped around my shoulders. “Walk straight ahead, shoulders raised, head up.”

“Thanks,” I say and he pulls his arm from around my shoulders. “Sorry I was such a bitch back there.”

“A bitch?” He looks over at me and grins. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I would,” I smile a little and he shakes his head, looking back out in front of him. 

We walk down the street a little more and then he stops and so I do too. I don’t really know why.

“Nirvana,” he says. “Nottingham. Nectar. Neighborhood.”

“Uh-”

“Bars that start with N,” he shrugs a shoulder and smiles. “Downtown.”

“Ah,” I say. “My purse.”

“Lucky for you, Downtown is on my way.”

“On your way?” I let out a small laugh and shake my head.

“Should we try to go find it? What do you say, do you want to come with me? Check the dumpster behind the bar? Go on a little adventure?”

“An adventure,” I grin and then nod. “Alright. Let’s go.” I turn and go to walk but he lightly grabs my arm and laughs. 

“Downtown,” he says and I nod, lifting my eyebrow.

“Right, Downtown,” I point in the direction I was going. “South of here.”

“Right,” he repeats and smiles. “Which is this way.”

He grins and crooks his elbow for me to slide my arm through and for some reason I do. He looks down at me, one side of his mouth higher than the other. “Zac,” he says. “That’s my name, in case you were wondering.”

“Zac,” I repeat and smile. “Nice name. Nice to meet you, Zac.” We walk down the street and I wonder if he’s noticed that I didn’t tell him mine. 

**Zac**

“Right, right,” I say in an understanding tone to the bartender who is stood across the bar top from me. I’m sitting on a barstool and she’s sitting next to me. I’m leaning forward, my hands linked together, doing my best impression of a guy who is calm but ready to bring the hammer down if I need to. I wonder if it’s coming through. Probably not. “Girls probably come here all the time, get drunk, get up to go to the bathroom and leave their purses behind. Prime real estate for someone looking to make a few bucks, especially on a Prada.”

“Yeah, you know how it is,” the bartender is concentrating on the drinks he’s making, but he’s humoring me. I know his type, I spent enough time in this city to know exactly what’s going on here, so I press.

“But, you know, my buddy is NYPD,” his eyes flick up to me at that, but only for a second. “And he’s told me about some of these rackets, you know, that the local bars are in on. Designer purses, left behind. Round ‘em up, call their hookup, they come in and grab the bag, repurpose it, sell it for a good price and then give the bartender a cut.” He looks up at me again and shakes his head just slightly, grabbing two straws out of the holder and plopping them into the drinks he’s just finished making. He walks them down the bar a few steps, gives them to the people who ordered them, then comes back over to grab two more empty glasses. I pull out my phone. It’s dead, but he doesn’t need to know that. “I could just give my friend a call, maybe he’ll come down, check your cameras,” I nod my head up to the blinking camera above our heads. “We can figure this thing out.”

He finishes pouring the drinks and drops his palms to the countertop. He sighs and shakes his head. “Prada, you said?”

“You got it.”

“Give me a minute,” he shakes his head again and turns to leave behind the bar.

“I’m sure the lady here would be happy to give you a sizable tip for your help.”

“Right,” he says and disappears from view.

“I appreciate you doing this,” I turn to her and she’s frowning. “I know that all of this probably wasn’t something you planned to do for tonight.”

“Well, I didn’t plan not to,” I shrug and she laughs.

“I’m sure you have better things to be doing, you know, than digging through trash cans for some strangers purse.”

“Stranger,” I mock gasp. “After all we’ve been through?”

She laughs again and drops her head a little. “My God.”

We sit in quiet for a second, me tapping my finger tips on the countertop and her watching me.

“So, why are you in New York?” She asks and I look up at her.

“Well,” I sigh. There are several answers to this question and I’m trying to decide which one to go with. “I have an audition. Tomorrow.” I guess we’re going with that one.

“An audition,” she echoes and I nod.

“Yeah, nothing huge. Well,” I laugh quietly and shake my head. “It _is_ kind of huge. Gary Happos? You heard of him?” She shakes her head and I continue. “He’s got this band, phenomenal. I’ve been a huge fan of theirs since they started. His guitarist backed out earlier this year and he’s been looking for a replacement before they make this new album. I sent him a tape and he invited me to come try out for the spot, so here I am.”

“Wow,” she smiles. “That’s great. So, what? You’re going to be some famous musician in no time and I’ll be able to say, oh, I knew him when?”

“That you will,” I laugh. “If it works out, which, if this night has shown you anything, you’ll already know it probably wont.”

“Oh, come on,” she laughs. “That’s not all together true. You saved my phone…kind of. And now suddenly this guy probably knows exactly where my purse is. Things can go right.”

“I guess that’s true,” I nod and grin over at her. “So, what are you doing here, all alone in the city?”

“I work for a publishing house in Boston. We were scouting this new up and coming author. I came to see if we could land her.”

“Publishing,” I nod. “That sounds…horrifically boring.” She laughs and I’m happy she does. If I were in her position right now I think I’d find it difficult. “So, did you get her?”

“I did,” she smiles and nods. “Three book deal, she’s sending her full manuscript in Monday morning.”

“That’s great. See, things _can_ go right.”

The bartender comes back out, a piece of paper in his hand. He leans his other hand on the bar top and looks at me, not all together kindly.

“So, I made some calls,” he slides the paper across the counter and she snatches it up.

“This is where it is?”

“Should be.”

“This is a shitty neighborhood,” I say, looking over at the paper.

“What did you think, your illegal purse ring was going to be on the Upper East Side?”

“Well,” I say and stand and she does too. “Thanks.”

“Right. I hope my efforts are… _appreciated_.”

“I think he wants a tip,” she says and stands with me.

“Don’t pee into the wind?” I say and nobody laughs. His face grows a little red and he leans harder on the bar top.

“I believe the words were sizable tip.”

“Right, right,” I stick my hands in my jacket pockets and pull out my wallet. “Do you take credit?”

“Oh my god,” she mutters from next to me and Ipull out half of my eighty dollars.

“This will have to do. Once we have the purse we’ll come back and give you the rest.”

“I’m sure you will,” he says to our retreating backs.

“So,” she says when we step out of the bar. “I just go here,” she looks down at the paper with the address scrawled on it. “And get it? It’s that easy?” She turns, heading in the wrong direction and takes two steps away from me.

“Alright, alright, don’t twist my arm,” I say, wrapping my fingers around her wrist and pulling her back in the right direction. “You’ve talked me into it, I’ll go with you.”

She laughs and looks down at the paper. “You really don’t have to do that.”

“No, I do,” I nod. “It _is_ a shitty neighborhood, and besides, your sense of direction is absolutely horrible. It’s this way.”

We walk a few blocks in an easy silence, a couple of feet separating us. 

“My husband is going to be so grateful that you’ve done all this,” she says quietly, as if she’s second guessing saying it. Now I know what she’s doing and I laugh low and look over at her. “It’s incredibly generous of you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I say and she raises an eyebrow. “The my husband thing, I wasn’t…I’m not being a creep, I’m just trying to help you, I-”

“I’m not doing whatever it is you’re talking about,” she sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “Look, I wasn’t completely honest about why I came here, things are a bit…complicated for me right now and I kind of-”

“This is it,” I stop and put a hand on her arm to stop her too. We both look up at the building and she grimaces.

“This does look like a piece of shit.”

I laugh and nod. “They all are, in this neighborhood.”

“You know an awful lot about this place considering you don’t live here.”

“Yeah, well,” I shrug. “I did once. In a past life. I want to hear the rest of that story, but I want to get your purse first so we can get out of here. There’s a bar, right there on the corner.” I dig a twenty out of my wallet and hand it to her. “Go get a drink, just wait there. I’m sure this will take no time at all.”

“You’re going to do something crazy, aren’t you?” She’s looking up at me like she wants to say forget it, forget about the whole thing, lets call the purse a loss. We’ve come too far for that.

“I dunno,” I shrug and smile. “We’ll see what happens when I get up there.”

“You’re just going to grab it and run. That’s your plan, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” I say again. “It’s exciting, sin’t it? I crinkle up my nose for a second and then laugh. “All this adventure.”

She looks up at me for a second and I can tell she’s thinking about insisting on going with me, but I’m not going to let that happen. I think she can feel that because she just sighs and nods, taking the twenty out of my hand.

**Hannah**

There’s a payphone half way between the place where my purse might be and the bar Zac told me to wait in, so I move to it, digging a few coins out of my jacket pocket. I don’t know how they got there, but I’m thankful that they did. I lift the reciever and shove the quarters into the slot and call information. I ask for his hotel and it rings through before someone answers.

“Hi, can you connect me to Holden Knight’s room, please?”

“Sure ma’am, one moment.”

The phone makes a switching sound and then starts to ring again, a handful of times and I think he’s not going to answer. I’m just about to hang up when his deep voice fills the line.

“It’s me,” I breathe and lean my hand against the outer layer of the phone.

“Hannah,” he says and I can hear a smile in his voice and my stomach flips. I don’t know how he can talk to me like this, like nothing is wrong. Maybe I’m making assumptions off of just one word, but sometimes a word carries a lot.

“I just wanted to see what you were doing, how things are in Texas.”

“Good, things are great. Meetings finished up a few hours ago and I just got out of the shower. How’s New York?”

“Good, good,” I say and close my eyes. “I got her, three books. I barely even had to turn on my charm.”

“Your charm is always on,” he laughs. “Look, I tried to call you a few times but-”

“My phone is broken. I dropped it.”

“Ah, shit,” he says. “I’ve changed my plans, booked a flight first thing in the morning, five a.m. I’ll be home by ten.”

“Ten? What, Holden. It’s almost one in the morning, you must be so tired. Why don’t you just go to sleep and take your original flight? Then I’ll be home when you get there and we can-”

“It’s already set in stone, babe. Booked the flight. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Yeah,” I drop my head. “Yeah, me either.”

“So, I’ll talk to you soon? See you in the morning?”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “See you in the morning.”

I go sit in the bar but I don’t order a drink. I can feel my leg bouncing underneath me and I have no control to make it stop. Zac has been in there an awfully long time and I’m starting to worry. I have no idea what an illegal purse ring looks like or how they are, all I know is that every time I look down at my watch, more minutes have passed by and Zac isn’t back and it gives me a sick feeling in my stomach that’s just growing more with each passing glance down at my wrist. 

I don’t know him very well, but of what I do know of him, I know he’s probably not going to be pleased with my next move, but I’m going to do it anyway. I want him to be safe, and I’m finding that I care about that somehow more than I care about him retrieving my purse from whatever the hell they’re doing with it up in that building. I know what I have to do, so I slide off my bar stool and push my barely drank glass of ice water away from me and I walk back to the payphone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Zac**

“I can’t believe you called the police!” I’m sitting on the curb and she’s sitting next to me, holding a went paper towel up to my cheek. We can add that to the balled up paper towel shoved up my bleeding nose and just call this one of the most humiliating moments of my life.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she shakes her head. “You were just gone so long and I was so worried and it looks like I had a reason to be,” she waves with her other hand at my face and I snort.

“They didn’t punch me until the cops rang the bell.”

“I’m sorry,” she says again. “I’ve really screwed up your whole night.”

“No,” I sigh and take the paper towel from her hand. I ball it up and toss it over at the trash can a few feet away from me. “My night was already screwed up, if anything you’ve given me a distraction, or several of them.”

“You came here for more than just the audition, didn’t you?”

I sigh again and lower my head. I pull the paper towel out of my nose and cringe, dropping it on the ground even though I know I should go throw it in the trash.

“Have you ever had something that you should do but you can’t bring yourself to make the decision to do it? It’s just…it feels like it’s all too much and doing it could be a mistake but not doing it could be an even bigger one?”

“God, yeah,” she breathes and I really believe her. I don’t know her story, but I can tell there is a lot to it.

“Do you ever find yourself waiting for a sign? Something to tell you whether or not to _do_ that thing? The audition, that’s what that was. It was my sign to come here, to do the thing that I just couldn’t make the decision on. I’m here for an audition, but only because it…it lined up with something else.”

“What is it?”

“A wedding,” I look over at her and her eyes widen a little bit.

“Did you come here to crash a wedding? Break one up? Are you-”

“No,” I laugh. “It’s my brothers wedding. But, there’s someone…an ex, the only ex, really. She’s there. I haven’t seen her in about six years, since we broke up. Or since she broke up with me, really.”

“Six years is a long time,” she says quietly. “It must have been really bad.”

“Yeah,” I nod, looking down at the ground between my feet. 

“So when the audition popped up, you knew you had to come? Why didn’t you go to the wedding then? Why were you just hanging out in Grand Central?”

“I couldn’t make myself go. Isaac, my other brother, he says she’s there. You know, I’ve spent all these years thinking she was probably just as miserable as me with the whole situation, but she probably isn’t. I guess I always knew that deep down, that she wasn’t sitting around waiting for some sign to come back to me. I don’t know what I was thinking, even thinking I could come here and see her and what? We’d lock eyes and she’d realize she’s been wildly in love with me all of this time? It’s crazy.”

“No,” she says and she lays a light hand on my arm. “It’s not. It’s romantic.”

“I just don’t know that I’m ready to be faced with the inevitability that she’s been fine all of this time without me,” I look down for a second and shake my head and then I look back up at her and smile. “Whats your story, then?” I look over at her again. “There’s more to this than a girl in New York to land a deal. Your husband, theres something there, isn’t there?”

She sighs and looks down at the pavement for a second and then she looks back up at me. “It doesn’t matter,” she sighs. “It’s over. It was over when I missed that train.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was having an affair. Last year. I found out about it by accident, and when I did we had this big blow up, you know?” I nod and she continues. “He broke it off, or said he did. He swore that he was never going to see her again. She’s, um. She’s based down in Austin, where he is now on a business trip. He saw her. I know it’s not noble, but I went through his email the day before he left and there were messages, between them. She asked him to meet and he agreed. So,” she sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “I’m not proud of this, but after he left, I wrote him a note and left it on the kitchen counter. It basically was just telling him that I knew what was going on and that I was over it. That it was done between us. I left it there for him to find when he gets home, but then. I don’t know, Zac,” she shakes her head. “I changed my mind, I don’t want this. And I called him, while you were up there getting your ass kicked,” I snort and she smiles a little. “He’s coming home early, he wants to see me. I think I misunderstood and now I have to get home before him. I have to get that note before he does.”

“Wow,” I say and she nods. “That is…that’s a lot.”

We sit there and I’m thinking and it looks like she is too, and I don’t know if it’ll work and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to do this, but she needs it. She needs to get home and I’m going to make that happen for her.

“Come on,” I say and I stand up. I run my hands over my jeans to brush them off and she stands with me.

“Where are we going?”

“The reception,” I say, holding my arm out for her to slip hers through it. “My older brother, Isaac. He’s…loaded,” I laugh. “He’ll let me borrow some money. We’ll get you home.”

“Why are you doing all of this, Zac?” She looks up at me and we start walking. “Why are you so determined to help me?”

“Why not?” I shrug and smile down at her. “If I can get you home, save your marriage, get at least one of us a happily ever after? Well, that’ll make me a hero,” I grin. “At least in someones story. I can’t pass that up, can I?”

She laughs and shakes her head. “I’ll pay you back,” she says and I laugh too.

“I know, when have you ever not?”

**Hannah**

“Hi, information. Manhattan Car Service?” I watch him leaning up against the phone booth, the receiver pushed up against his face, his other hand leaning on the top of the booth. “I need a car to Boston, within the hour.” He nods and then sighs. “That’s the best you can do? Alright, thanks.” He hangs up and looks up at me. “Five hundred.”

“Five hundred,” I repeat. “That’s a lot to borrow from your brother.” He’d already called Isaac and left a message, said we were on our way and he needed to borrow some money. He didn’t give an amount, but I’m sure none of us were thinking it would be that high.

“Yeah,” he says. He looks up at me and smiles. “I have another idea, we have to take the subway, come on.”

We’re sitting on the train, one empty seat between us and he’s got his guitar resting on his lap. He’s playing, some old standard that I don’t really know. He’s not singing, but he’s humming along, and he was right, it’s crazy but he was right. People are coming and dumping dollars and coins in to his empty guitar case thats resting on his feet. It’s not a lot, but theres at least a handful adding up in there and I almost can’t believe it. He finishes the song and looks up at me and I smile.

“That…wasn’t terrible, Zac.”

“Wasn’t terrible. No offense, none taken,” he laughs and I do too and I shake my head. 

“No, no. It was great. You sound great. That audition tomorrow? You’re going to smash it.”

“Okay, less about me. Your story is far more compelling, tell me. What _is_ your story?”

“Oh,” I laugh. “My story. Okay, well. It’s not all that exciting, pretty straight forward. I grew up on the Cape, my parents are pretty well off. Went to college, got a degree in English. Landed a job straight after graduation at at London publishing house. I hated it there, you’ll probably never believe this,” I cock my head and grin. “But I had a hard time making connections, friends, there. I was just going through the motions, making money and doing my job, but I was never really happy. And then my boss wanted to land this deal, hot up and coming novelist from Boston. So he sent me, and I got there and it was him. Holden was the novelist and I met him and it was instant, you know? That whole eyes locking and worlds colliding thing? That’s how it was for us. So I landed the deal and I sent the contract back to my office, put my resignation in and never went back. We got married eight months later and that was…coming up on eight years ago.”

“Wow,” he breathes. “That was brave of you, bold. Changing your whole life for this guy.”

“Have you ever just known? You know? You meet somebody and instantly you just know that they’re going to play a huge part in your life?”

He looks at me for a second and then his eyes fall down to somewhere around my chin, just for a second. He looks back up at me and smiles. “Yeah,” he nods. “Yeah.”

“It’s funny because even now, even after the affair, I’ve always been proud of that, you know? That I was the girl who recognized love and jumped.”

He looks at me again, his head nodding just slightly. He doesn’t say anything, but then he doesn’t have to because the train stops and it’s our time to get off.

**Zac**

“So,” I say holding the door to the reception venue open for her. “If I know my brother, he’ll be at the open bar.”

“Open bar,” she smiles. “Perfect. I could use a drink.”

We move to the elevator and I press the button and I can feel my body tensing. I don’t want to be here, I should not be here. But here I am, all to help this girl, who it’s dawning on me has a name that I still don’t even know. I look over at her and tilt my head.

“Your name,” I say. “You have never told me your name, and here I am, running around all of Manhattan trying to save your life.”

She tilts her head back and laughs, shaking her head when she looks back down at me. “Hannah.”

“Hannah,” I repeat. “That’s a nice name.”

“So, this ex. What’s her name?”

“Is that important?” 

“I like to know the names of the people I hate,” she grins and I laugh.

“Allison.”

“Allison,” she nods. “Never knew one of those I didn’t hate.”

I laugh again and the elevator doors open and a couple stumbles out, the girl adjusting her dress, pulling it down, the guy fiddling with his pants. We step on and Hannah’s face is screwed up, she turns to me.

“Did they just have sex in here?”

“It’s better not to know,” I punch the button for the fifth floor and then look over at her. “But yes.”

**Hannah**

We walk into the room and the first thing I notice is that this is either the most low key wedding ever and both of Zac’s brothers must be pretty old because there is no one in this room under the age of fifty five, the second thing I notice is Zac’s posture, rigid and stony.

“Hey, Zac,” I lean towards him and he looks down at me.

“Either Allison is a cougar or this isn’t the right room.”

He snorts and looks back up. “I don’t even think this is a wedding.”

“What do we do now?”

“I have…no idea,” he sighs. “No idea at all.”

“I guess we’re at the end of the road then,” I say and I can feel my breath hitching in my throat. It really is over. I missed the train, I got my purse stolen, I left my husband a Dear John letter and fled to New York City. The end of the road seems like an understatement. 

“Come on,” he says. “We’ll figure something out.”

We walk back to the bank of elevators and he pushes the button. I don’t know what to say and I don’t think he does either, because we’re just standing there in silence, staring at the unmoving elevator doors. And then they do move and Zac lets out a breath.

“Dude, you’re here!” The guy on the elevator throws his arms out and steps closer to us. He pulls Zac in for a hug and then backs up. “And you have a guest.”

“This is Hannah, Hannah this is my brother, Isaac.”

“Nice to meet you, Isaac,” I smile. “I’ve heard a little about you.”

“Well, I’ve heard nothing about you,” he grins. “But I’d like to.”

“Take it easy, Ike,” Zac laughs. “Your eyes are doing that thing they do when you’ve had one too many Makers Marks.”

“It’s a wedding, brother!” He laughs. “That’s the whole point of these things!”

“I think the point is something else, but-”

“Tay’s going to be so happy you’re here, we were all sure you weren’t going to show. Come on, I was just heading back up.”

“You said it was on the fifth floor. We just walked into some kind of retirement party or something,” Zac exaggerates and I laugh. 

“Did I say fifth? I meant fifteenth.” Isaac shrugs. “Well, I found you and now we party.”

“Ike,” Zac says as we step into the elevator. “About that favor I asked in my message, I-”

“Yeah, yeah, money later. You have to at least pretend to attend your brothers wedding reception first, come on, just a little bit.”

“Alright,” Zac sighs and I watch his jaw harden. “Just a little bit.”

The tone in the elevator goes quiet and I move closer to Zac, wrapping my arm through his. “Is it really that bad?” He looks down at me and frowns. “You look like you’re being lead to your execution.”

“She’s here with someone,” he says quietly so only I can hear. 

“Well, you left that part out,” I stick my chin out and smile at him. “But look, you’re here with someone, too. For the next…however long we’re in there, I am now Hannah, fake girlfriend of Zac.”

He blinks at me and then laughs, shaking his head. “Maybe you’re my hero, too.”

**Zac**

Isaac leads us into the room and straight to the bar, a place where I expect he’s spent most of his night. It’s not that Isaac is a problem drinker, it’s just that he loves his whiskey and he can throw them back with the best of them. Tell him the words open and bar in a sentence together and you know where he’ll be. 

“Taylor is seriously going to be so happy to see you, man,” he grins and orders himself another while ordering me a beer. He turns to Hannah. “What does the lady like to drink?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” she smiles and waves her hand at him.

“We’re at a wedding, it’s a joyous occasion! You have to have a drink, it’s the rules.”

“No, really, I’m fine,” she smiles. “I’m sure, Isaac, thank you.”

“Alright,” he grins and shakes his head. He grabs his glass and my beer bottle and hands it to me. I don’t even want it, but having something in my hands is a nice distraction. 

“Where is Taylor, anyway?” I ask, looking around the room.

“Off somewhere with his blushing bride, I’m sure,” Isaac laughs. “They’ve been inseparable all night.

“That’s a good sign,” I nod over at him.

“Look, I don’t know where you’re staying,” he looks at me and shrugs a shoulder. “But here,” he digs in his pocket and pulls out a key card. “Just in case you need it later. I probably wont be there.” He wiggles his eyebrows and I groan and then he claps me on the shoulder. “Alright, hate to do this, but I’m going to leave you two alone, I’ve got to go say my hellos to a few people who just arrived. Eat, drink, be merry! I’ll get you that money before you go!”

He walks away and Hannah steps closer to me, winding her arm back through mine. “Is he always like that?”

“Nah, that’s just the liquor,” I look down at her and laugh. “We should find Tay.”

“Right,” she says. “I’d help, but, I don’t know who he is.”

I laugh and look around the room and then the small hairs on my neck stand up and my stomach rolls. Goosebumps rise on my flesh and, shit, when did I get so pathetic. Hannah senses it and I can feel that her eyes are following mine and then she breathes out.

“So that’s Allison,” she says quietly. “She’s very pretty.”

“Yeah,” I say. “She is.” 

Allison turns, as if she could feel my eyes on the side of her face and she stops talking. She raises one hand in a small wave and smiles. I raise a hand in return and I try to smile, but I know that only one side of my mouth lifts. She turns back to her companion, who is a woman, not a man, and I wonder where _he_ is. She says a few words and then she turns and she’s coming towards us.

“Zac,” she smiles and wraps her arms around me. She squeezes me tight and lets out a sigh. She pulls back and takes a step back. “I thought I’d missed you, I was a little late and you weren’t here.”

“You did,” I say and then I close my eyes for a second. “I mean, I wasn’t here, but I’m here now.”

“I see that,” she smiles again. “You look great, as always.”

“You too,” Hannah slips her arm in mine and I look over at her. “Hannah, this is Allison. Allison, Hannah.”

“Hannah,” Allison smiles and turns to her. “Hi.”

“Hello,” Hannah smiles and nods. “It’s nice to meet you Allison, I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s always nice to put a face to the name.”

I bite the inside of my lip to keep from laughing and I look down at Hannah and smile. I shake my head a little and she looks up at me, a twinkle in her eye.

“All good things I hope,” Allison smiles and Hannah looks back at her.

“Well, you know,” she waves her hand and then looks back up at me. 

“How are things, Zac?” Allison continues, looking at me again. “Are you working? What are you doing now?”

“Well, no, not really, I’m-”

“Yes you are, _honey_ ,” Hannah says, squeezing my arm with her other hand. “Allison,” she turns back to her. “Zac has an audition tomorrow morning, with _Gary Happos_.”

She says his name like it’s the most amazing thing she’s ever heard, like I’m about to start working with fucking Mozart, and I love her for it. I know this girl has no idea who Gary Happos even is, but it doesn’t matter. She’s playing the role of fake girlfriend and she’s doing it well. I see a flash of something pass across Allison’s face, and then she replaces it with a smile.

“Oh, Zac! That’s wonderful news! That’s your dream, it’s always been-”

“And I’m so excited to get to watch him fulfill it,” Hannah puts her hand to her chest and I nearly burst into laughter. She’s really laying it on thick and I should want her to stop, but I don’t. I really, really don’t. 

“Hey babe,” a guy saddles up next to Allison and winds his arm around her waist, handing her a glass of ice water. His other hand lands on her stomach and I look down and notice the wedding ring on his finger.

“Greg,” she looks up at him and smiles but there is tension laced across her face now and I feel it too. “This is Hannah,” she motions to Hannah and then to me. “And Zac.”

“Hannah, Zac,” Greg smiles at Hannah and then his gaze goes to me. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“Yeah,” I say and nod. “It’s…yeah.”

“Do you guys maybe want to go for a cup of coffee?” Allison asks and she’s smiling between me and Hannah. “I’d love to catch up, it’s been so long.”

I glance over at Greg and he looks as about into the idea as I feel.

“Actually,” I say. “Hannah and I are late for something. We were just stopping in. We have to get going.”

“Right, and Zac has the audition in the morning and it’s getting late,” Hannah says and smiles. “But it was so nice meeting you.” She pulls on my arm and starts leading me to the door. “Good luck with everything.”

**Hannah**

We’re sitting on the steps of a brownstone and Zac’s head is turned down. He’s got his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands and I don’t know what to say. I could feel it back there, the tension, the pain, the questions. It’s not my place, but it feels like it is. It feels like I need to do something, to make this better for him, I just don’t know how.

“I’m sorry, Zac,” I finally say quietly and he nods but doesn’t look up. “That must have been really hard.”

“Six years,” he says and then he finally looks up at me. “It’s been six years, Hannah. You’d think after that long of going over that moment in my head, I’d have something more interesting to say.”

“You were fine, Zac,” I sigh. 

“No. I wasn’t. That was embarrassing. I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

“I’m sure it was awkward for her too. I don’t think she noticed.” He nods and I put my hand on his knee. “Six years. How long were you together?”

“Two.”

“How’d you meet?”

“I was playing a gig. Lived in Georgetown, spent my nights playing these dive bars around town. I was really committed to my music, making it, you know? She was the first person who ever really saw that and pushed me to do it. I’d have given up if it weren’t for her.”

“What happened? Why did you guys split up?”

“I guess she pushed me a little too hard and I was spending a little too much time playing. She’d thrown herself into school and then into her job at this law firm. She got an offer to transfer to Pennsylvania. She didn’t tell me, you know?” He looks up at me and his eyes are red rimmed. “She didn’t even tell me this was in the works. The day she did, God-” he blows out and drops his head again. “I’d been carrying around this stupid ring for weeks. I had a gig that night but I had some free time in the evening. I came home and the minute I walked in to the apartment…I just knew. I knew it wasn’t going to happen, that she was going to tell me something that was going to change everything. But, I asked her anyway.” He looks back up at me. “Do you know what she said? She said, actually, Zac, I’ve been thinking that it’s a good time for a break.” He closes his eyes for a second then opens them again. “She’d already packed her stuff. She was gone before I even got back from my show.”

“Wow,” I squeeze his knee. “That’s awful. What did you do?”

“What could I do? I didn’t do anything. I let her go. I was so…so…”

“Blindsided?”

“Yeah,” he looks up at me, his head tilted sideways. “Completely blindsided. That was the last time I ever saw her…until tonight. I’m such a little bitch,” he laughs a little. “I just, I got to the station before noon and then I couldn’t even…I couldn’t get myself to leave. I just sat there and sat there until-”

“Until you got stuck with me,” I laugh quietly.

“Am I stuck with you?”

“Hate to tell you, but yeah,” I laugh.

“Sounds bad when you put it like that,” he chuckles.

“I’m sorry that I’ve let you down,” I say quietly and he jerks his head back and narrows his eyes.

“What, how-”

“I’ve let you down by letting you sit here with me on these steps for so long, talking about it, instead of making you go back in there.”

“What?” He shakes his head. “No, I’m not-”

“You didn’t come all the way to New York, based on some bullshit _sign_ to just…walk away.”

“I thought she’d be alone. I didn’t know when I came here that she was…you saw her, Hannah. She’s married.”

“A girl like that is never alone, so you can’t use that as an excuse. There was something there still between you, I saw it, Zac. It means you still have a chance.”

“A chance for what? For her to rip my heart out again?”

“A chance that it could all go well! A chance the she wants it just as much as you do. I’m not suggesting you ask her to marry you, I’m suggesting you go in there and try to make that last six years right.”

“Hannah,” he sighs.

“This is about regret. Do you want to regret this for the rest of your life? The chance you could have had at getting it back? Six _years_ , Zac. You have to follow this through.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“It might be, but you know,” I look up at him. “Sometimes you have to make the decision…and jump.”

He stares at me, his eyes are glassy and he looks torn and then he nods. “You’re right, you are.”

I hold my hand out and he laughs. “You gonna hold my hand through it?”

“No, you moron,” I laugh. “Give me that guitar case. You can go in there all John Cusack with that thing. It’s not a boombox.”

He laughs and shakes his head and swings it off his shoulder. I take it and skip two steps ahead of him and he follows me back to the bar. 

I watch him walk in and he finds her and she turns and smiles. She throws her arms around him and hugs him and the smile on his face does something to me. The problem is I just don’t know what it is.

I’m sitting on the curb in front of the bar. I’ve been warring with myself the entire time he’s been gone. I should be happy for him, this is what he’s wanted for six years. But all I feel is vacant, confused. Something else that I don’t recognize. When he comes out he looks down at me and scoffs and walks past me. I jump up and follow him.

“Zac!” I call, but he doesn’t stop. “Zac, stop!”

He stops and whirls around. “Thank you. For making me go back in there, thank you.”

“You don’t look like you mean that.”

“Oh, everything is great. She invited me to dinner tomorrow, she wants to hear all about the audition. The three of us are going to the Plaza.”

“The three- she invited him along?”

“No, Hannah, not him! The baby, the one she’s pregnant with.”

“Oh,” I say and my shoulders deflate. 

“God,” he runs his hand up his face and through his hair. “I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re not. And I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Now I know, now I know it’s really over. For good. And that’s because of you.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“It should,” he walks back and stops in front of me. He wraps his arms around me and sticks his nose in my hair. “Really, Hannah. Thank you.”

**Zac**

We’re walking down the street and our arms are linked again. This is a position we’ve been finding ourselves in a lot over the night and it’s one that I’m growing to like. 

I feel a weight lifted off of me, the knowledge that I can and should let go now settling down where that weight once was. It’s lighter and freer and it hurts, but I feel good about knowing that I can move on. That I should move on. 

I look over at Hannah and she’s humming to herself, I don’t know what because I can’t really hear her, but she looks happy for the first real time since we met and I smile. She looks over and catches me and tilts her head. “What?”

“You just…look happy,” I shrug. “Haven’t seen it before.”

“I don’t know if I’d go all the way to happy,” she shrugs a shoulder. “But I’m okay.”

“Good,” I smile. “Me too.”

“Good,” she echoes and then stops in her tracks. “Oh my God, Zac,” she breathes and I follow her line of sight to a bright lit up neon sign on a ground floor window. 

“Oh, no,” I laugh, shaking my head. “No, no way.”

“Come on,” she squeals and jumps a little and I laugh again. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”

“You don’t strike me as a believer.”

“I’m not,” she shrugs again. “But it looks fun. You don’t have to believe for words to have an impact, you know. You can just listen and let it sink in. Come on, lets go in.”

“Hannah, a psychic?” I grin. “Really?”

“Please, Zac?” She steps in front of me and winds her hands around my waist, hugging me. She looks up at me and gives me puppy dog eyes and all of my resolve withers. 

“Alright.”

Just as we’re about to step down the first stair to the entrance the door swings open and an elderly man in a bathroom steps out, a tied up bag of trash in his hand.

“Wow,” I say. “You’re good, you knew we were here.”

“No,” the man laughs and holds up the bag before tossing it into the trash can. “It’s just trash day. But I do know you don’t have any money, and you’ve had a long day. Come on in, I’ll put on some tea. I can’t sleep and could use the company.”

His living room is decorated in all the same shade of dark red as his bathrobe. He hands Hannah a steaming mug of tea and then hands me one before sitting down in his upholstered chair across from where we sit on his couch. 

“So,” he says. “I can see that we have a lot of problems here,” he waves his hand between us. “Not together, but separately. Where should I start? With you,” he looks over at Hannah and then to me. “Or you?”

We both speak at once, telling him to start with the other and all three of us laugh. He moves his eyes to my face and then looks over at Hannah.

“You’re not stuck, you know,” he says and she tilts her head. “You think you are and you think you’ve come to the solution, but it isn’t the only one and it doesn’t have to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your predicament. You think you have to find a way to fix it, smooth it out, so you can stay in your situation. But, you don’t. You can find a new way of living, a new situation. You’re not stuck, not unless you make yourself be.” He shrugs and smiles. “You’re at a crossroads, you think you know exactly what your problem is and you’re exactly wrong. You actually have choices, you just don’t want to look at them. You’re not trapped.”

“What are my choices?”

“You could walk away. You’re scared to, but you can. We can always walk away, and sometimes thats exactly what we should do,” he tilts his head again and looks at me and then back at her. “You could have a future with our boy here.” He points to me. “And before you say it, no I don’t say that to every couple I see.”

“Oh,” she laughs. “Actually,” she shakes her head. “Zac is wonderful, amazing really. But I’m actually married to someone else.”

“You asked what your choices are. I only bring up the ones that I see are possible.”

“What if…what if sometimes the choices aren’t up to me?”

“You know, I spent my entire life with one person, fifty years of marriage. And do you know what that taught me?”

“What’s that?”

“The people you love should not determine _how_ you love.”

“That,” she says quietly. “That sounds like a case of easier said than done.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he shrugs. “Sometimes things that matter are.”

“Can I,” she says quietly. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Right down that way,” he smiles and motions through the door to the kitchen. “Help yourself. It’ll give Zac and I here some time to talk.”

She uses my leg to push herself up and leaves the room, leaving me with our new friend.

**Hannah**

I’m leaning against the sink making a pathetic attempt at drying my eyes with my sleeves. I turn and look in the mirror and I don’t even know the girl looking back at me. 

My life is on the fast track to ruin and I’m not sure how to fix it. All this talk of choices and how Zac may be one of them has my head in a whirlwind. Sure, Zac _is_ amazing, I wasn’t lying about that. But, I don’t even know him, he doesn’t know me. We are strangers, two strangers stuck in some weird, bizarre twilight zone together, but still strangers. 

I turn the faucet on and splash some water on my face and then grab the hand towel and dry it. I have to go back out there, whether or not they can tell I’ve been crying, I can’t hide in this mans bathroom for the rest of my life. 

I walk through the kitchen and stop, listening to the man talk to Zac for a second.

“You know what I’ve learned, Zac?” The man is saying. “There is no perfect. There will always be struggle, you just have to pick who you want to struggle with.”

I feel my breath catch in my throat as his words sink in and I close my eyes for a second. Easier said than done.


	3. Chapter 3

**Zac**

We’re walking along the water, the lights of the city shining down and Hannah looks miserable. The happiness from before dimmed and her face turned down.

“I feel so marginalized,” I try to laugh. “He didn’t even talk about my future.”

She looks up at me but she doesn’t smile. We keep walking and then she stops, sitting down on a bench. 

“You wanna take a crack at it? Telling me my future?”

“I’m sorry,” she sighs and I stop walking, standing in front of her.

“For what?”

“Wrapping you up in this whole thing. You don’t even know me and here I am, keeping you up all night, wandering through this god damn city. I know you’re trying to cheer me up, and I love that. But this is such a mess, a huge mess, and I should never have dragged you into it.“

“So, is that a no?”

She laughs a little and shakes her head. “You really wanna know? Your future?” I motion with my hand for her to go on and she laughs again. “You get the job. You’re a famous, working musician forever, until you can’t sing any more. Your phone never dies because you keep it charged all the time. You have a-”

“Mansion?”

“A dog,” she laughs. “And your credit cards never get declined and you meet a woman and you fall madly in love, and nothing ever goes wrong and she trusts you.”

“Phew,” he blows out. “Well, I’ll tell you one thing,” I say, leveling my gaze with her. “If I ever got that lucky? I’d never betray her, never let her down.”

She makes a sound, something like a strangled laugh and she shakes her head. 

“You know how I found out? About the affair?”

“How?”

“Our anniversary. It’s October first. He had meetings that week in Austin, and I was going to go down there and surprise him, as a gift. So one day while he was out running errands I opened up his laptop to see his meeting schedule, to decide when to fly in, and his email was up on the screen. There were hundreds of them, emails between him and this woman, Miranda. He told her things, fears, struggles, failures, accomplishments, things you would tell somebody you love, you know?” I nod and she looks down. “I just sat there, reading these emails over and over again like they were a novel of some sort, like I was reading someone else story and not my own, not reading about my crumbling marriage that I didn’t even know was headed for destruction.”

“So, what did you do about it?”

“Nothing? I shoved it away in the back of my mind. You know, our marriage didn’t even really change. It seemed like everything was completely normal, except that I knew that every time we spoke, every touch, every kiss, every interaction, it was all a lie. Because he was with someone else. Behind my back, he was…maybe he was in love with her,” she looks up at me. “He was in love with someone else.”

She lets out a breath and shakes her head. “And I couldn’t even confront him, you know? I was paralyzed. I thought if I confronted him I would lose him and this was my husband, my big jump, my one chance. But I kept reading his emails and it kept going and then one day? One day it just stopped. He broke it off, said he felt guilty. So I thought, I thought he chose me, you know? I thought we could put this behind us without ever even needing to talk about it.”

“That doesn’t seem-”

She holds up a hand and keeps going. “And then three days ago, three days ago he said he had to go down to Austin, for meetings. And I could feel it in my chest, I could feel that something was going to be really wrong. And so he went to bed that night after he finished packing and I opened his laptop…for the first time in so long, and there was an email from her. She said she heard he’d be in town and could they get together? He’d answered and said yes, that they’d go to dinner. And I wanted to _kill_ him, you know? I wanted to rip his throat out, claw his face off. But I didn’t do anything. I waited until he left the next morning and then I wrote him a letter. I told him that I’d known everything, for all this time. That I thought he’d chosen me, chosen us, and so I’d never said anything. And then I told him all the horrible, mean, nasty things I wanted to happen to him, to do to him. I put my wedding ring in the envelope with the letter and I left it there. I left it there and I came here.”

“And now he’s going home, to you, instead of going to see her.”

She nods and there are a few errant tears streaming down her face. “I threw it all away. When I was in that bar when I lost my purse I realized that I had thrown it all away. It’s over now.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“It is. You don’t know what is in that letter, Zac,” she looks over at me and I put my hand on her back, rubbing small circles. “The things I said, the nasty, horrible things I said. I knew, I knew I had to get home before him. So I got up to leave that bar and I went to grab my bag and it-”

“It wasn’t there,” I say and she nods, wiping at her face. 

“And now he’ll get home before me and he’ll find that letter and nothing will ever be the same. I’ve thrown it all away. My big jump, wasted.”

I have a lump in my throat and my eyes are stinging but I wont cry, not in front of this girl. She needs more than that, she deserves someone to be strong for her. She did it for me earlier and now it’s my turn. 

“Come on,” I stand up and hold my hand out for her. “I have a total of eighteen dollars left and I’d like to buy you some of New Yorks finest diner food.”

She laughs and shakes her head, wiping at her tears with the backs of her hands and then she slides her hand into mine and I lead her down the street.

**Hannah**

Zac sits next to me on the round stool of the diner he brought me to, two cups of steaming coffee in front of us, a plate heaped high with bacon between us. We’ve been sitting there in a comfortable silence, chewing and drinking and not saying much at all. 

“You know,” I say quietly, breaking the quiet. “Sometimes I think about things about her. Like, her eyes, are they better than mine? Blue, or green, something pretty to look at instead of my brown? Is her skin softer? Tighter? Does her hair look freshly brushed when she wakes up in the morning? What are the reasons that he chose to do what he did to me, with her?”

“I don’t think you should be doing that,” he says and drops his coffee mug. He puts his hand on my knee and squeezes. “None of those things matter, and his reasoning doesn’t, either. None of it has anything to do with you, it’s all about him.”

“I hate him for making me think those things.”

“But you love him,” he says quietly.

“What if he loves her more?”

“Somehow, I don’t even think that’s possible,” he says and my heart drops and then leaps and I don’t even know what that means.

“Do you think it’s possible…” I closes my eyes. “To meet somebody who is perfect for you…even if you’re already committed to someone else?”

“No,” he says and I open my eyes again and look at him. “No, I think if you’re truly in love with someone and committed to them, you do everything you can to make sure you never find yourself in that position.”

We’re quiet for a few seconds and I sip my coffee before putting it back down and speaking again.

“I just don’t know how to move on from this. He’s going to get home and he’s going to find that letter and everything is going to go up in flames. It will never be the same again.”

“You know what I think?” He looks out the window we’re sitting in front of. “I think he’s going to go home and find that letter and he’s going to read it. He’s going to be full of guilt and he’s going to call you instantly. I think he made a mistake, a huge mistake, and he knows it. I think he’s going to beg, get on his knees, grovel. He’s going to look for forgiveness.”

“What if you’re wrong?”

“Then you go home anyway and you face the music. At least you were brave and you didn’t run,” he shrugs a shoulder. “You look love in the eye and you jump.”

He looks back and me. “We love who we love,” the corner of his mouth tilts up. “It sucks.” I sigh and he shakes his head, his mouth turning down. “And you know what, Hannah?” My eyes flit back up to his. “If he doesn’t? If he doesn’t beg and he doesn’t grovel and he doesn’t need your forgiveness to be able to wake up in the morning? You leave. You get back on a bus or a plane or a train and you leave. You get out of there and you find the right person. Just because you recognized love and jumped doesn’t mean he did. And if he didn’t? Screw him. It’s not over for you just because you chose the wrong guy.”

I look up at him and my heart is hammering in my chest and my palms are suddenly slick with sweat. He’s right and I know it but I don’t want to accept it. I _can’t_ accept it. 

“I’ll be right back,” I say quietly and I walk to the counter. I ask the cook if theres a bathroom in the back and he motions me in. I just need to get away from this.

**Zac**

She’s gone for a couple of minutes and then a couple more and then it settles in on me. She wasn’t going to the bathroom, she was leaving. Running. 

I throw some cash down on the counter and I run out the door and right as she’s opening the door of the cab my hand connects with it and I slam it shut.

“What?” I say as she turns to face me. “I don’t get a letter?”

“Zac,” she says and I shake my head.

“No, what are you doing? Why are you running away from me?”

“Look, I’m sorry I fucked up your whole day, okay? But the last thing I need is some guy in New York who I’ve only known for six hours to tell me what I need to do with my life, okay? You don’t know me and you don’t know him, you don’t know anything.”

“You know what I do know?” I’m shouting and the cab drive mumbles out a fuck this and drives away from the curb. Hannah breathes out a similar sentiment and I continue on. “I know who you are, Hannah. Six hours or six years, I know who you are.”

“Yeah?” She throws her hands up and her palms land harshly on her thighs. “Who am I, Zac? Who do you think I am?”

“You’re the girl who recognized love and jumped,” I say evenly. “You recognized it and you jumped and it bit you in the ass, and that’s _okay_. It doesn’t work out every time, life is not a fairy tale, Hannah, and he did it to you once so he’ll probably do it again. Why are you going to run back there, to some guy who clearly doesn’t really care how you feel? He never even came clean, you’ve been living with this all alone for a year. A year! Let him go, Hannah, you-”

“Shut _up_!” She shouts and shoves me with one hand. I barely move but I wrinkle up my forehead anyway.

“You’re pushing me now?”

“You’re pushing _me_!” She says. “You’re pushing me and I don’t need you to push me, okay? Why don’t you just run away. Run away like you did when Allison left and run away just like you did earlier tonight, just like you would have if I hadn’t of talked you back to that bar. You know, it seems like all you do is run away, hide. The only thing stopping you, Zac, from being the biggest loser in New York, is that I’m still here.”

“Hannah-”

“No, you know what? Thank you. Thank you for everything, Zac, but I think I’ll be going now. Sorry for messing up your day. Good luck on your audition.” She turns and starts walking away, but I can’t let her do that, she doesn’t even have an ID on her.

“Hannah,” I repeat and she stops walking but she doesn’t turn around. “Where are you going to go? You have no money, no ID, nothing. It’s another few hours before the station opens back up. I hate when people use this phrase, so forgive me in advance but, can we just take a step back and breathe? Can we just _breathe_?”

She turns around and looks at me and I see her resolve fall and a weight comes off of me. I couldn’t let her walk away alone in this city at this hour. 

“Come on,” I hold my hand out. “I think I know somewhere where we can spend a couple of hours. Somewhere warm.”

**Hannah**

Zac slides the keycard into the lock and pushes the door of the hotel room open.

“Ike?” He calls into the room and then when he gets no answer, he ushers me inside. “Good thing we went to that reception, I guess,” he smiles back at me and I give him a small smile back. “I’m going to order some food, what do you want?”

“We don’t have any money,” I laugh and he shrugs. 

“I’m gonna charge it to the room. This one is on Isaac.”

“Surprise me?” I smile and then walk into the bathroom. 

A shower sounds good. I don’t have any clean clothes, but what I do have is the funk of a terrible and weirdly good day in New York on me. I can smell the city air in my hair and on my skin. I turn the shower on and then I take a breath and I know I have to do something first. I walk back to the bathroom door and pull it open and lean against the jamb.

“Hey, Zac?”

He looks up at me, the phone receiver in his hand and smiles.

“I’m sorry, you know,” I wave my hand. “About back there, and before. And a lot of things. I haven’t really shown my appreciation as much as I should have. You didn’t have to spend your entire day trying to help me. I don’t know why you did, but thank you.”

He looks at me for a second and the he puts the phone down and gets up. He walks across the room and wraps me in his arms and I breathe out into his chest. Somehow this feels right, like somewhere I could maybe belong. It makes no sense and I don’t want to think about it anymore, so I pull back and smile and then I close the bathroom door.

**Zac**

Hannah showered and I’ve just finished and I’m standing in the bathroom, wrapped in the plush hotel robe that doesn’t belong to me. She’s sitting out there wearing one too and the sight of her in it was enough to take my breath away.

I take a breath and walk out of the bathroom and there she is, just sitting there against the headboard, her bare legs resting on the comforter and her bare feet crossed at the ankles. 

I walk over and sit down next to her and mirror her position and she turns her whole body so that she’s facing me. She opens her mouth and then closes it and I can tell she’s trying to say something but she can’t find the words. It’s a feeling that I know pretty well, especially over the last six hours. 

She sighs and closes her eyes for a second and then she slides her palm on to my cheek and sighs again. She opens her eyes and shakes her head, just a little and then she leans in and presses her lips against mine.

I’m going to let her take the lead here, I don’t want to scare her off. She sets the tone and the speed and it’s slow and gentle and I find my own hand moving up to cup her face and then she stops moving, her lips just resting on mine. She pulls back just the slightest bit and sighs again.

“I can’t,” she says quietly and my heart drops, but I know why. I know she feels like she has to do what is right, that’s been the whole point of this entire night for her. “I want too, but I can’t.”

“Well,” I smile. “At least we waited a few hours…you know, so I didn’t feel like I’m a rebound.”

I wait for her reaction and when she laughs, I do too. “Have I told you that you’re charming?”

“Uh,” I grin. “I think it was worded a little different,” I move my eyes up so I’m looking at the ceiling. “I think the exact term was biggest loser in New York.”

“Shut up,” she laughs and rests her forehead on my shoulder. “I said I was sorry.”

“I know,” I laugh. “I know.”

**Hannah**

We spend a while just sitting there, talking. Laughing. I feel like I know him now. I’ve been feeling that way more and more over the hours we’ve spent together, but now I really feel it. I never would have believed you if you told me that a day with someone would be enough for you to dread the thought of never seeing them again, but that’s exactly how I’m feeling right now.

I said I was the girl who recognized love and jumped and I remain proud of that to this day, but I think maybe I was wrong. Because there is something here, in between us, and it’s feeling like it could be something big, potentially huge, and I should stay here and see it through or at least go home, call of my sham of a marriage and come back, see what could really be here between us if it weren’t for these really stupid circumstances. But, I can’t. I can’t bare the thought of being the girl with the failed marriage. The girl who gave up. I know I have to go home to my husband, I know I have to make it work. But I want to savor every single second of this time with Zac first. I want to be here, with him. 

I lean over so that I’m leaning against him and my head is resting on his shoulder. He winds an arm around my back, his fingers curling around my hip and he turns his head so his face is in my hair. He plants a kiss on the side of my head and squeezes me a little.

“I’m really glad you got stuck here, Hannah,” he says quietly and I smile. 

“Me too.”

We’re quiet for a second and then I turn my head to look up at him and speak again. “It’s weird…you know, how one of the worst nights of my life…it’s also the best I’ve ever had.”

“That is weird,” he smiles.

“I think…I think we ran into each other in this city for a reason, you know? I think we were…meant to find each other.”

He looks at me for a few beats, almost too long and then he puts his fingertips on my chin and tilts my head up. And he kisses me.

“Did you take that audition in hopes that Allison would see it someday and-”

“Yes,” he cuts in and looks down. “I’m not proud of it, but I really did think if she saw me, doing it after talking about it for all that time…she’d…want to try again.” He gently laughs and then locks his eyes on mine. “I think we both have somethings we need to deal with…that we’ve been putting off for way too long.”

He looks away and I can feel it, there’s more. He just doesn’t want to say it. “Hey,” I say. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I still want to see if I’m good enough, but not for her anymore. For me.” He blinks. “What are you thinking? About your…thing.”

“I want to hit him.”

“Good,” he laughs. “He deserves it. But…” he smiles. “You love him.”

“But I love him,” I nod. “I do. I still do, for some reason. And I think I have to go back, I have to see if we can fix all of this and make it work. I can’t just give up without…without even trying. I would never forgive myself if I didn’t at least…fight.” He nods and frowns but only briefly. “It’s time to stop running. For both of us,” I smile. “But, we have a couple more hours…let’s just…keep enjoying this. For right now.”

**Zac**

I jolt awake and see the sun streaming in through the hotel room windows. “Shit,” I curse quietly and go to instinctively grab for my phone, but it’s still dead. “Shit,” I say again and turn my body gently so I don’t move Hannah’s sleeping form too much. “Hannah,” I shake her gently. “Hannah you have to wake up.”

She stirs and then she opens her eyes. It looks like it takes her a second to realize where she is and who she’s with, but when she does, she smiles up at me.

“Good morning.”

“Morning,” I lay a quick kiss on her forehead and then pull my arm out from around her. “The station is definitely open now.”

She sits up and looks over and out the window and shrugs a shoulder. “It can wait.”

“You’re not in a rush anymore?” I ask and she shakes her head.

“No, no rush.”

We take our time putting back on yesterdays dirty clothes and making ourselves look presentable and when she comes back out of the bathroom in the summer dress she was wearing the night before I’m sitting at the desk and holding up the hotels feedback card in my hand. “We should fill this out.”

“It’s not even our room,” she laughs.

“I guess not really,” I shrug. “But it is.”

We fill out all of the questions, how was your stay: good. Would you recommend our hotel to friends and family: highly. We fill them out one by one but we decide to leave one blank. Would you return to stay with us again?

“Let’s leave that one open,” she looks over at me, her smile quiet. “Just in case.”

“Just in case,” I repeat and smile. She pushes her leaning form into a standing position and walks across the room to grab her jacket. I scribble something on the back of the card and meet her at the door, slipping it into her pocket without her knowing. 

**Hannah**

Zac walks me all the way to the platform where I need to get on my train. I turn and face him, my chest tight. I can’t believe this hurts like this, I don’t even know this man, not really. But, I do. I feel like I really do.

“Hannah, I-”

“Let’s not have some big grand goodbye, okay?” I smile up at him. “I don’t think I could…I just think it’s better if we don’t?”

“Okay,” he nods and then looks around, his face widening into a smile. “Wait, come here.” He grabs my hand and pulls me halfway down the platform until we reach a payphone. He picks it up and lifts an eyebrow at me. “I’m just gonna…call and leave a message for who I was…before.”

“What?” I laugh and he holds a hand up, the receiver pressed to his ear. “Hey, uh, Zac. It’s me, Zac.” I laugh again and he dramatically holds a finger to his lips and shhes me. “I just want to let you know, that one day soon, you’re going to be sitting in Grand Central Station one night running through every reason in the world not to go see that girl that wrecked your heart, and you’re going to see a,” his eyes flick away and then back to mine. “Really pretty girl run by and drop her phone. Make sure you grab it and bring it to her. You might think about not doing it, but make sure you do,” I drop my head into my hand and laugh and he continues. “She’s going to be a little…what’s the word? Prickly, like trouble. She’s going to spend all your money, probably get you punched in the face and you’ll spend the whole night awake running around the entire island of Manhattan for her, for some reason you can’t really explain, even to yourself. But stick with her. You’re going to learn really fast that you need her a lot more than she needs you. There are going to be a lot of things you want to say to her before she leaves, but don’t. She’ll know.” His eyes are reddening and mine are stinging and I want to wrap my arms around him, but he’s not finished. “You can’t ruin it with words. Not like you always do. Just kiss her and let her go, but not before you thank her…for proving to you that you can fall in love again, even after you think your heart has stopped having the ability to do so.”

He goes to hand up and I put my hand up. “Wait!” I say and grab the phone. “Hey, Zac,” he grins and I shrug. “Just, make sure you don’t pay your credit card bill that month. Financial responsibility will ruin all of this.” I pause for a second and nod up at him before hanging the phone up. “He said he will.”

He laughs and slides his hands over the sides of my face and pulls me to him. He kisses me, soft and slow and for probably a bit too long, and then he lets me go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a short epilogue/sequel coming very soon.


End file.
